Subject: The barber



A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome.
He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded,
"Rome?  Why would anyone want to go there?  It's
crowded & dirty and full of Italians.  You're crazy
to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking TWA," was the reply.  "We got a great
rate!" "TWA?" exclaimed the barber.  "That's a
terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight
attendants are ugly, and they're always late.
So, where are you staying in Rome?" "We'll be at the
downtown International Marriott." "That dump!  That's
the worst hotel in the city.  The rooms are small,
the service is surly and they're overpriced. So,
whatcha doing when you get there?" "We're going to
go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the barber.  "You and a million
other people trying to see him. He'll look the size
of an ant.  Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours.
You're going to need it." A month later, the man again
came in for his regular haircut. The barber asked him
about his trip to Rome.  "It was wonderful," explained
the man, "not only were we on time in one of TWA's
brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they
bumped us up to first class.  The food and wine were
wonderful, and I had a beautiful 28 year old stewardess
who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel-it was
great!  They'd just finished a $25 million remodeling
job and now it's the finest hotel in the city.
They also were overbooked, so they apologized and gave
us the presidential suite at no extra charge!" "Well,"
muttered the barber, "I know you didn't get to see the
pope." "Actually, we were quite lucky, for as we toured
the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder
and explained that the pope likes to personally meet
some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step
into his private room and wait the pope would 
personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later
the pope walked through the door and shook my hand!
I knelt down as he spoke a few words to me." "Really?"
asked the Barber.  "What'd he say?" He said, "Where'd
you get the crappy haircut?"