"The Spoon"

 I took some clients out to dinner last week, and I
noticed a spoon in the shirt pocket of our waiter as he
handed us the menus. It seemed a little odd, but I
dismissed it as a random thing. Until our busboy came
with water and tableware; he too, sported a spoon in his
breast pocket.

 I looked around the room, and all the waiters and
busboys had spoons in their pockets.  When our waiter
returned to take our order, I just had to ask, "Why the
spoons?" "Well," he explained, "our parent company
recently hired some Andersen Consulting efficiency
experts to review all our procedures, and after months
of statistical analyses, they concluded that our patrons
drop spoons on the floor 73% more often than any other
utensil, at a frequency of 3 spoons per hour per
workstation.  By preparing our workers for this 
contingency in advance, we can cut our trips to the
kitchen down and save time... nearly 1.5 extra man-hours
per shift."  Just as he concluded, a "ch-ching" came
from the table behind him, and he quickly replaced the
fallen spoon with the one from his pocket. "I'll grab
another spoon the next time I'm in the kitchen instead
of making a special trip," he proudly explained.  I was
impressed.  "Thanks, I had to ask." "No problem," he
answered. Then he continued to take our orders.  As the
members of our dinner party took their turns, my eyes
darted back and forth from each person ordering and my
menu. That's when, out of the corner of my eye, I
spotted a thin black thread protruding from our waiter's
fly.  Again, I dismissed it; yet I had to scan the room
and, sure enough, there were other waiters and busboys
with strings hanging out of their trousers. My curiosity
overrode discretion at this point, so before he could
leave I had to ask.  "Excuse me, but...uh...why, or
what...about that string?" "Oh, yeah," he began, in a
quieter tone, "not many people are that observant.  That
same efficiency group found we could save time in the
Men's Room, too." "How's that?" I asked.  "You see, by
tying a string to the end of our, uh, ourselves,  we can
pull it out at the urinals literally hands-free and
thereby eliminate the need to wash our hands, cutting
time spent in the washroom by over 93%!" "Hey, wait a
minute. If the string helps you pull it out, how do you
get it back in?" "Well," he whispered, "I don't know
about the other guys, but I use the spoon."