Subject: This is hilarious!



Cross my heart this happened to someone. This guy
lives in Westchester, NY and goes to school at 
Ithaca College. For two years, he has wanted to
ask a certain girl (who is also from Westchester
and also goes to Ithaca) out on a date, but has
never had the courage.
Finally, one day over the summer, he sees her at
home and musters up the courage to ask her out.
She accepts, and they make dinner plans for Saturday
night. Friday night, this guy goes out with all of
his buddies, and drinks like Prohibition is coming
back. Saturday, he is in such bad shape that he
can't make it through twenty minutes without either
throwing up or using the bathroom. After several
hours of this, he is able to stop throwing up, but
he is still running to the toilet every 20 minutes.
He doesn't want to cancel the date, because he's
afraid he won't ever talk to her again. So they meet
in Westchester, and take the train to New York City
(about a 30 minute ride). They get to the restaurant,
and he excuses Himself during the appetizers to use
the bathroom. They enjoy the rest of the appetizers
without interruption, but he has to go back again
during the entrees. They decide to get dessert.
During dessert, our hero feels another rumbling,
but doesn't want to look like a complete bathroom
freak, so he holds it. After a few minutes, the 
rumbling subsides, but he still has a bit of gas
stored up. He decides to let this little bit of gas
fly right there at the table (discreetly, of course).
Unfortunately, this little bit of gas came with another
little surprise. "Oh crap," he thinks (and feels).
Instead of running to the bathroom right away, our
hero immediately leans on the arms of his chair to
keep from sitting on this surprise. He maintains this
yoga position for the rest of dessert, trying to
figure out what to do before his tan pants (a) start
to smell, or (b) start to show stains on the outside.
He quickly pays for dinner and they leave the
restaurant. Oh, by the way, he is walking like a
cowboy. On the way to the train station, they pass
the Gap. "Do you mind if I run in and buy a sweater
that I was looking at last week?" he asks.
"No problem, I'd like to look around too," she replies.
They go into the Gap. Fortunately, at the Gap, men's
fashions are on the right, women's fashions are on
the left. They split up. Our hero grabs the first
sweater within reach, and hurries back to the khakis.
After selecting a pair that most closely resemble his
current outfit, he brings both items to the register.
His eyes are on his date still on the other side of
the store) to make sure that she doesn't see him buying
the pants. He doesn't even want the sweater, so he
says through clenched teeth (just in case his date
can read lips from 40 feet away) "Just the pants."
"What?" asks the Gap girl. "Just the pants!"
(Eyes still on his date.) Gap girl: "Oh, OK."
He pays for the pants and walks over to his date, 
then they leave the store.
 They board the train just before it leaves the
station and find two seats in the middle of the car.
Without sitting down, our hero excuses himself and
walks to the bathroom in the back of the car. He
gets to the bathroom as the train departs, and quickly
rips off his pants and boxer shorts. He rolls them
into a ball and throws them out the window.
After cleaning himself off, he opens the Gap bag and
pulls out.............. Just the sweater.

                    BUD